The Hidden Stories in the Words We Use

I came across a post from a friend recently that made me stop in my tracks. She was talking about her son going off to university, and in sharing her excitement, she wrote a couple of lines that struck me:

“He’s going to have the best years of his life.”
“At Uni, he’ll be living his best years.”

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know how much I believe in the power of language. The words we use aren’t just random, throwaway comments.

They are portals into our very souls, revealing patterns about how we experience life — often without us even realizing it.

Reading her words, I paused because they told me something much deeper about her unconscious beliefs. Whether or not she realizes it, she’s reached a conclusion that the best years of her life are behind her, and now she can only look on from the sidelines.

And that’s the thing about language. It’s never just language. It’s a mirror, reflecting back the truths we’ve internalized — whether we like it or not.

How many times have you caught yourself saying something like:

• "I’ll try."
  This word often reveals hesitation, like you’re leaving a back door open in case it doesn’t work out. It suggests a lack of full commitment.

• "I don’t want to bother anyone."
  This often points to a pattern of self-sacrifice or feeling like a burden, signaling that you might believe your needs are less important than others’.

• "That’s just the way I am."
  This phrase can reveal a deep identification with a fixed trait, suggesting that change feels impossible or not worth the effort.

• "It’s just not the right time."
  This one hides the fear of failure or perfectionism — as if waiting for the ‘perfect’ conditions will somehow guarantee success.

• "I always have to do everything myself."
  This reflects a belief in self-reliance or a fear of being let down. It’s a subtle way of saying, ‘I don’t trust anyone else to handle this.’

The words we choose might feel small or harmless in the moment, but they’re breadcrumbs, leading us to our innermost beliefs about life, about others, and most importantly, about ourselves.

Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, but these are just things we say — do they really matter?”

Here’s the thing: the language we use is one of the most powerful insights into our unconscious patterns. When we start to really listen to the words we choose, we uncover truths we’ve hidden from ourselves. These are the stories that shape how we show up, how we embrace (or shy away from) opportunities, and how we view change.

So my invitation to you is simple: pay attention. What phrases slip out of your mouth on autopilot? What deeper story are they telling?

Because the truth is, the words you choose aren’t just a reflection of who you are — they are a declaration of who you’re becoming.

So, what story are your words telling today?

And even more importantly, what story do you want them to tell?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Love,
Helena xoxo